Tag Archives: self-help

Strong at the Heart: How It Feels to Heal from Sexual Abuse by Carolyn Lehman

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Strong at the Heart: How It Feels to Heal from Sexual Abuse by Carolyn Lehman

Lehman, Carolyn. Strong at the Heart: How It Feels to Heal from Sexual Abuse. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005. ISBN ‎ 978-0374372828 176 pp. $

*****

If every parent, teacher librarian and child in America read this book, perhaps we could put a stop to the largely silent epidemic of sexual abuse of our children. Even if you are not a survivor of sexual abuse, someone that you know is: one in three women and one in six men are abused sexually by the time they turn eighteen.

Strong at the Heart profiles nine courageous teens and adults who have traveled the road to recovery and found ways to speak up, speak out and begin healing from molestation, rape and abuse. Never gratuitous and shying away from sordid details, these stories will disturb some readers. An author’s note at the beginning suggests finding someone to talk with about the issues raised.

The survivors share what happened to them and the guilt, shame, fear, horror and finally healthy anger that ensued. All of them were fortunate to find an adult who believed in and supported them, even when allegations were made against their own family members. Some delved into unhealthy coping mechanisms before working through their trauma, others turned to creative outlets such as film and music and public speaking. A final chapter tells how three empowered students created a student organization on the campus of Smith College for Survivors and Allies For Education on Childhood Sexual Abuse and Incest (SAFE).

The cover shows half of the face of a woman of color, but every portrait within the pages is whole, a testimony to the healing process. Other photos of survivors with their families and loved ones, enjoying various activities, paint a clear picture of complete beings.

Twenty pages of resources include 24-hour hotlines, organizations and websites for more help. An annotation fiction list offers bibliotherapy resources, while non-fiction bibliography is split into such categories as for men, date rape, sexuality, resiliency and activism.

Raising a Thinking Preteen: The “I Can Problem Solve” Program for 8- to 12- Year-Olds by Myrna B. Shure, Roberta Israeloff

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Raising a Thinking Preteen: The “I Can Problem Solve” Program for 8- to 12- Year-Olds by Myrna B. Shure, Roberta Israeloff

Shure, Myrna B. and Roberta Israeloff. Raising a Thinking Preteen: The “I Can Problem Solve” Program for 8- to 12- Year-Olds. Holt, 2001. ISBN 978-0805066425 272 pp. $19.99

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Developmental psychologist Shure shares her method of encouraging kids to think for themselves, by learning and mastering a specific set of skills to become good problem solvers, make good decisions, and resolve conflict. Chapters discuss the wrong ways of parenting (explaining, suggesting, and overpowering) and recommends parents try the problem solving approach. Shure offers games to play to develop skills in such as thinking about how other people are feeling, recognizing conflicting emotion, planning alternative solutions, planning in a sequence, and considering consequences. A quiz at the end offers additional ways to test and hone these skills.

At the beginning, Shute states that children must learn pro-social behaviors. Social withdrawal is not something one outgrows, and encourages adults to draw out the wallflower, loner types. Parental involvement is key.

Examples were always very clear, but sometimes the answers seemed too perfect. Not every child is a textbook case. Most of the book focuses on three different children, and more cases or different types of children might have been included. Still the premise is good, modeling behavior is recommended, and the techniques appear to work.

All of the studies she cites are 13-18 years old, a point of concern, and the book loses a bit of credibility. However, the ICPS method is supposed to very good for kids with ADHD, a current hot topic. Updated research would lend more authority to the work. She frequently makes reference to colleagues with giving much explanation of their work, a minor frustration. References are cited at the end in a bibliography oddly divided by chapter, but without numbered or detailed notes. The author kindly includes her own mailing address, email address and URL for questions, concern and feedback.

Not having any children of my own to test Shure’s theories out on, I hope to put them to use in dealing with some of the young adults I work with. Frustrated parents may find this book works for them; stock it in your parent teacher section.